Now.

This weekend was awesome. I’m exhausted and probably won’t go into too much detail right now.

I spent all weekend with my girlfriend. I went out Friday night and stayed with her. Saturday morning we got up to go watch the sunrise, and when we got back into my car I gave her the promise ring I picked up for her on Thursday. I was slightly nervous about how it would go over, but it went really well. She loved it, and so did all of her friends. So there were some huge ego points for me.

Saturday we came back to my school and she met the rest of my friends for the first time. I was pretty nervous because we had had some typical college drama earlier in the week, but everything went great. She really liked them, and they all liked her. It was so reassuring to know that everyone ‘approved’ of her. Not that it would really matter much to me if they didn’t.

I took her back to her school on Sunday. It was incredibly hard to leave her. Even harder than it usually is. Sitting here now I haven’t been able to do anything but think about her all day. It’ll probably only be a few days until we get to see each other again, but it’s going to seem like an eternity.

Driving home last night I had another anxiety attack. Afterwards I had the biggest headache of my life, I had my usual chest pains for a few hours, and I couldn’t keep my eyes open to save my life. I pushed myself until I got back to school, then to make matters worse I was up until about 4:00am doing homework that I had neglected all weekend. I woke up again about 6:00am and continued to finish my homework, because I couldn’t get it all done.

I have a psychiatry appointment at 4:00 this afternoon to “find the cause of [my] attacks.” That should be fun. I was hoping I was done with shrinks for the rest of my life… I guess not.

~ by Traverse on January 26, 2009.